Mark Wahlberg presented the SAG award for best ensemble to the predominantly Asian cast of “Everything Everywhere All at Once” Sunday night – a move that some people criticized, given Wahlberg’s troubled history with the AAPI community. In 1988, a 16-year-old Wahlberg hit a Vietnamese man in the head with a stick while trying to steal alcohol and punched another in the face while trying to avoid police; one man was sent to the hospital. He served about 45 days in jail. Wahlberg later apologized and said he dedicated himself to becoming a better person and raised millions of dollars for charity. He sought a pardon for his actions in 2014 but withdrew the application. Some SAG viewers on Sunday were quick to point to Wahlberg’s past after he took the stage: One Twitter user wrote, “I feel like if Mark Wahlberg (or his management) wanted his checkered racist past to fade into obscurity, presenting the SAG award to EEEAAO would not have been on the list of gigs to take.” USA TODAY has reached out to the SAG Awards and Wahlberg’s reps for comment. Can we – and should we – forgive people for their past (or even current) problematic views and actions? Experts say the first step lies with the person who said the harmful things. If they make amends, then the wronged individuals can decide whether to forgive them. Sheila Addison, licensed family and marriage therapist, previously told USA TODAY it’s hard to confront people for their problematic views, but it’s necessary.”When we don’t do that, what we wind up doing is we focus on the person who has less power in the system because of their devalued identity, the person who has already been harmed,” she said. Whether someone offers an apology or not, it is up to those most directly impacted to accept it if they’re ready. T. M. Robinson-Mosley, counseling psychologist, previously told USA TODAY: “Contrary to popular belief, people seem to think that forgiveness is something that we should give automatically, or that it means that we are going to forgive and forget or we excuse the harm that someone has done to us. But the realistic aspect of it is that if we’re real with ourselves, the pain and disappointment might always still be with us. But when we’re ready to forgive, forgiveness can minimize the hurtful impact.”Jerin Arifa, an activist for LGBTQ Muslim rights, said she’s seen people who have made offensive remarks change. She’s been able to forgive them because they’ve done the work.”There’s this idea that we have to forgive in order to move on, we have to forgive, because we’re supposed to forgive and that people expect that forgiveness,” Robinson-Mosley also said. It doesn’t have to be that way. But if that lack of forgiveness takes up a lot of space and you feel resentful, that’s when it becomes a problem.
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