Effective communication is important if you’re trying to be heard and get your point across. But sometimes a discussion might escalate into conflict or even turn aggressive. If you’re trying to prevent your next argument with someone, you may want to AVOID doing these 4 things, which are known as the “Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse”:
1) 0:12 Criticism
2) 0:45 Contempt
3) 1:30 Defensiveness
4) 2:25 Stonewalling
RESOURCES:
Information about when arguments turn into Emotional Abuse: https://www.un.org/en/coronavirus/what-is-domestic-abuse
https://sheltersafe.ca/ (Canada)
https://www.domesticshelters.org/help#?page=1 (USA)
https://www.shelter.org.uk/ (UK)
https://findahelpline.com/ – Contact information for suicide and crisis hotlines for your country. If you have thoughts of suicide or self-harm, or are experiencing a mental health crisis, please do not hesitate to call your local emergency number.
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REFERENCES:
1) Gottman, J., Gottman, J. M., & Silver, N. (1995). Why marriages succeed or fail: And how you can make yours last. New York, NY: Simon and Schuster.
2) Lisitsa, E. (n.d.). The Four Horsemen: Criticism, contempt, defensiveness, and stonewalling. Retrieved from https://www.gottman.com/blog/the-four-horsemen-recognizing-criticism-contempt-defensiveness-and-stonewalling/
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